Bulk movie review
July 3, 2008 on 10:57 pm | In Movies | No CommentsFuturama: Beast of a thousand backs
Bender created a rift in space-time at the end of the last movie. The rift leads into another universe, and a world devouring being, like something out of Hellboy or Lovecraft, crosses over, tentacles and all.
Fry becomes the new pope. And the rest of the story devolves into something like a Seinfeld episode: a nothing-idea stretched to the point of breaking. But this idea broke in such a big way, the writer failed to realise it.
Before The Devil Knows You’re Dead
What a piece of CRAP! Two brothers in a deep financial hole, tried to pull a heist on their parents’ jewellery store. The heist goes wrong. People get killed.
The story might be better, if you could love any of the characters. But you don’t. They’re all losers. So it’s just one big nothing story. Happily, I was multi-tasking something more productive while half watching this film. Like paining a miniature of Shaggy.
Mulholland Drive
David Lynch’s little hallucination on film. Supposedly, the blonde is hallucinating the brunette. But it finally turns out, the blonde itself is also another hallucination of another blonde, whose life sucked worse than the hallucination blonde.
This was the key to making sense of this film. Otherwise the last half hour makes no sense.
Or… you can just watch it for the lesbian sex scene between the two hallucinations, and be treated to Naomi Watts’ full frontal.
My Mother’s New Boyfriend
Meg Ryan. Trying to find her groove back, and abandoning her desperate-to-be-taken-seriously movies like Against The Ropes, or In The Cut (full frontal by the way).
This time, she’s a MILF, her son is FBI, and her new boyfriend is Antonio Banderas, an international art thief.
Much lame-ness and very little comedy ensues.
You Don’t Mess With The Zohan
Adam Sandler is The Zohan, an Israeli version of Captain America.
But he wants to fulfill his dreams of being a hair-dresser. So he stages his death, and ‘migrate’ to the US.
Not funny. Unless you like seeing Adam Sandler catch fish & frankfurters with his butt-cheeks.
The Happening
Plants release neuro-toxins that make people commit suicide.
Great idea. But not really well executed. Something like The Signs, an event of epic magnitude, but the camera keeps focusing on the least interesting aspect of the story.
Better than Lady In The Water though, I’ll give this movie that much…
Many of the scenes were very chilling. Seeing people calmly, and consciously take their own life. It’s more than seeing zombies walking off a cliff. There is just something terribly wrong in seeing a person intellectually reasoning out the quickest and most expeditious way to die, and executing it.
I think it plays on one’s fear of losing one’s free will, which is a fate worse than death.
But M.Night isn’t the first who came up with this idea. I still remember a scene from one of the Omen sequels, where a guy booby-trapped his gun to fire when someone opens the door to his office. Then sat in front of the barrel.
Or even more recently, The Suicide Club. It’s a Japanese film that started with 54 school girls, cheerfully chattering away, standing in front of a train platform all in a row, then suddenly and inexplicably hurled themselves in front of an oncoming train. The scene that ensued expended several drums of tomato sauce. It’s a scene that YouTube moderators will remove. This cult film was a commentary of the young generation’s dissociation with reality, with modern society, and their susceptibility to targeted marketing. In such a world, suicide makes as much sense as everything else. So why not?
Get Smart
Free tix at Cineleisure. Note to all: those free tix vouchers that you can redeem for Free List movies… You can redeem those at Cineleisure before the movie goes on Free List. Third time I’ve done this now.
Funny show. Steve Carell is wonderful as Maxwell Smart.
Watched a lot of the old Get Smart series when I was young. I love seeing the old portable Cone Of Silence and the shoe-phone again, after so many years.
And Hiro Nakamura is in the movie too. BONUS!!
Most memorable line. Alan Arkin as Chief: “It’s nü-klē-ər !”
Everybody loves Bush-bashing.
Neverwas
A man returns to the town of his birth, to the sanatorium that once housed his dad, a renowned author of the fantasy world of Neverwas. There he meets Gandalf, who proclaims himself to be the imprisoned king of Neverwas, and the boy of prophecy has finally come to release him from his dungeon.
Further investigations reveal that Magneto’s delusions predated his father’s book. And he comes to believe that Neverwas is real after all. He busts out the Grey Wizard, who leads him to the castle of Neverwas, and a climatic stand-off versus the usurping Minions.
Nice.
The Spiderwick Chronicles
A short and fun fantasy of faeries, goblins and ogres. It is far from epic. But tales of fantasy need not have epic battles to make it enjoyable. A well-shaped tale matters more than size alone. Do you hear that, Prince Caspian?
Hellraiser
A famouse cult horror. Heard much about it, but never saw it. Out of boredom, and a surfeit of internet bandwidth, I downloaded it and gave it a go.
Meh. 20yrs ago, it might have scared me.
Shutter
Saw the original Thai version. Also the recent US remake.
Both good. Preferred the Thai version.
A couple drove over a girl. The body was never found. But ghostly images begin to appear in the photos they take. Chilling ending. If you are watching it for the first time.
Chocolate
The best movie for last…
If you’re a martial arts fan, you’ll be pleasantly surprised by this latest offering from Thailand.
Mob parents make autistic child. Autism girl has preternatural ability to mimic martial arts. Lives next door to a Muay Thai school and learnt everything she sees. Mom gets cancer. She goes out kicking arse to collect debts due to her mom.
Newcomer Yanin Vismistananda, is filling a void in today’s film industry: the female martial artist.
There really isn’t a proper female fighter today. Zhang Ziyi is more accurately a dancer. Michelle Yeoh is just over-ripe and her moves barely cut it for the 80’s. And the new breed of HK actresses are just wire-fu artists. I would sooner watch a Sumo tournament.
Discovered and nurtured by the director that gave us Ong Bak, this is Yanin’s first film, and already the quality of her fights are of the same level as your above-average Jackie Chan movie. Her moves aren’t so fluid yet, after each arse she kicks, she would move back into a ready stance before moving on to the next arse to kick. But that’s just a minor nit-pick. The fights are real enough, and incredibly exciting. During credits, you’ll see all the NG scenes, and watch the quantity of ice-packs consumed on the set. Yanin even took a kick to the face that tore her eye-lid. That, on top of various sprains and pains.
Yanin doesn’t have the sex appeal of Zhang Ziyi. She can’t act as well as Haley Joel Osment as the autistic child. But I’ve never seen so much kick-assery, pound for pound, concentrated into a 43kg frame. Will be tracking her career with great eagerness.
Many of the scenes were choreographed to amaze. They may not make sense some of the time. But they are amazing to watch. And the fight in a butcher house, all the henchmen are bare-chested so they can’t wear hidden chest-armour. Yet the kicks are connecting with equal vigour. Watching the near complete disregard to personal injury is…. ~painful~.
Media Bias
July 3, 2008 on 4:19 pm | In Me! | No CommentsWe all know that there is media bias in Malaysia. Let’s just see HOW MUCH bias…
In The Star:
Altantuya murder: PI implicates senior politician
PETALING JAYA: Political analyst Abdul Razak Baginda’s private investigator P. Balasubramaniam says the police omitted information about the relationship between a senior politician and Mongolian murder victim Altantuya Shaariibuu in his statement.
In the high profile case, Unit Tindakan Khas (UTK) operatives C/Insp Azilah Hadri and Kpl Sirul Azhar Umar are charged with murdering the 28-year-old Mongolian translator between 10pm on Oct 19 and 1am on Oct 20 two years ago in Mukim Bukit Raja, Shah Alam.
———————————
In Malaysia Insider:
Private Investigator’s Statutory Declaration In Full
JULY 3 — Below is the statutory declaration in full made by murder accused Abdul Razak Baginda’s private investigator P. Balasubramaniam that claimed police suppressed evidence to protect some personalities, including proof that Mongolian Altantuya Shaariibuu knew Deputy Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Abdul Razak.
I, Balasubramaniam a/l Perumal (NRIC No: 600928-08-6235), a Malaysian Citizen of full age and residing at No. 32, Jalan Pelangi 1, Taman Pelangi, Rawang, Selangor, do solemly and sincerely declare as follows:
1. I have been a police officer with the Royal Malaysian Police Force having joined as a constable in 1981 attached to the Police Field Force. I was then promoted to the rank of Lance Corporal and finally resigned from the Police Force in 1998 when I was with the Special Branch.
2. I have been working as a freelance Private Investigator since I left the Police Force.
3. Some time in June or July 2006, I was employed by Abdul Razak Baginda for a period of 10 days to look after him at his office at the Bangunan Getah Asli, Jalan Ampang between the hours of 8.00am to 5.00pm each working day as apparently he was experiencing disturbances from a third party.
4. I resigned from this job after 2-1⁄2 days as I was not receiving any proper instructions.
5. I was however re-employed by Abdul Razak Baginda on the 05-10-2006 as he had apparently received a harassing phone call from a Chinese man calling himself ASP Tan who had threatened him to pay his debts. I later found out this gentleman was in fact a private investigator called Ang who was employed by a Mongolian woman called Altantuya Shaaribuu.
6. Abdul Razak Baginda was concerned that a person by the name of Altantuya Shaaribuu, a Mongolian woman, was behind this threat and that she would be arriving in Malaysia very soon to try and contact him.
7. Abdul Razak Baginda informed me that he was concerned by this as he had been advised that Altantuya Shaaribuu had been given some powers by a Mongolian “bomoh” and that he could never look her in the face because of this.
8. When I enquired as to who this Mongolian woman was, Abdul Razak Baginda informed me that she was a friend of his who had been introduced to him by a VIP and who asked him to look after her financially.
9. I advised him to lodge a police report concerning the threatening phone call he had received from the Chinese man known as ASP Tan but he refused to do so as he informed me there were some high profile people involved.
10. Abdul Razak Baginda further told me that Altantuya Shaaribuu was a great liar and good in convincing people. She was supposed to have been very demanding financially and that he had even financed a property for her in Mongolia.
11. Abdul Razak Baginda then let me listen to some voice messages on his handphone asking him to pay what was due otherwise he would be harmed and his daughter harassed.
12. I was therefore supposed to protect his daughter Rowena as well.
13. On the 09.10.2006 I received a phone call from Abdul Razak Baginda at about 9.30am informing me that Altantuya was in his office and he wanted me there immediately. As I was in the midst of a surveillance, I sent my assistant Suras to Abdul Razak Baginda’s office and I followed a little later. Suras managed to control the situation and had persuaded Altantuya and her two friends to leave the premises. However Altantuya left a note written on some Hotel Malaya note paper, in English, asking Abdul Razak Baginda to call her on her handphone (number given) and wrote down her room number as well.
14. Altantuya had introduced herself to Suras as “Aminah” and had informed Suras she was there to see her boyfriend Abdul Razak Baginda.
15. These 3 Mongolian girls however returned to Abdul Razak Baginda’s office at the Bangunan Getah Asli, Jalan Ampang again, the next day at about 12.00 noon. They did not enter the building but again informed Suras that they wanted to meet Aminah’s boyfriend, Abdul Razak Baginda.
16. On the 11.10.2006, Aminah returned to Abdul Razak Baginda’s office on her own and gave me a note to pass to him, which I did. Abdul Razak Baginda showed me the note which basically asked him to call her urgently.
17. I suggested to Abdul Razak Baginda that perhaps it may be wise to arrange for Aminah to be arrested if she harassed him further, but he declined as he felt she would have to return to Mongolia as soon as her cash ran out.
18. In the meantime I had arranged for Suras to perform surveillance on Hotel Malaya to monitor the movements of these 3 Mongolian girls, but they recognised him. Apparently they become friends with Suras after that and he ended up spending a few nights in their hotel room.
19. When Abdul Razak Baginda discovered Suras was becoming close to Aminah he asked me to pull him out from Hotel Malaya.
20. On the 14.10.2006, Aminah turned up at Abdul Razak Baginda’s house in Damansara Heights when I was not there. Abdul Razak Baginda called me on my handphone to inform me of this so I rushed back to his house. As I arrived, I noticed Aminah outside the front gates shouting “Razak, bastard, come out from the house”. I tried to calm her down but couldn’t so I called the police who arrived in 2 patrol cars. I explained the situation to the police, who took her away to the Brickfields police station.
21. I followed the patrol cars to Brickfields police station in a taxi. I called Abdul Razak Baginda and his lawyer Dirren to lodge a police report but they refused.
22. When I was at the Brickfields police station, Aminah’s own Private Investigator, one Mr Ang, arrived and we had a discussion. I was told to deliver a demand to Abdul Razak Baginda for US$500,000.00 and 3 tickets to Mongolia, apparently as commission owed to Aminah from a deal in Paris.
23. As Aminah had calmed down at this stage, a policewoman at the Brickfields police station advised me to leave and settle the matter amicably.
24. I duly informed Abdul Razak Baginda of the demands Aminah had made and told him I was disappointed that no one wanted to back me up in lodging a police report. We had a long discussion about the situation when I expressed a desire to pull out of this assignment.
25. During this discussion and in an attempt to persuade me to continue my employment with him, Abdul Razak Baginda informed me that:
25.1 He had been introduced to Aminah by Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak at a diamond exhibition in Singapore.
25.2 Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak informed Abdul Razak Baginda that he had a sexual relationship with Aminah and that she was susceptible to anal intercourse.
25.3 Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak wanted Abdul Razak Baginda to look after Aminah as he did not want her to harass him since he was now the Deputy Prime Minister.
25.4 Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak, Abdul Razak Baginda and Aminah had all been together at a dinner in Paris.
25.5 Aminah wanted money from him as she felt she was entitled to a US$500,000.00 commission on a submarine deal she assisted with in Paris.
26. On the 19.10.2006, I arrived at Abdul Razak Baginda’s house in Damansara Heights to begin my night duty. I had parked my car outside as usual. I saw a yellow Proton Perdana taxi pass by with 3 ladies inside, one of whom was Aminah. The taxi did a U-turn and stopped in front of the house where these ladies rolled down the window and wished me “Happy Deepavali”. The taxi then left.
27. About 20 minutes later the taxi returned with only Aminah in it. She got out of the taxi and walked towards me and started talking to me. I sent an SMS to Abdul Razak Baginda informing him “Aminah was here”. I received an SMS from Razak instructing me “to delay her until my man comes”.
28. Whist I was talking to Aminah, she informed me of the following:
28.1 That she met Abdul Razak Baginda in Singapore with Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak.
28.2 That she had also met Abdul Razak Baginda and Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak at a dinner in Paris.
28.3 That she was promised a sum of US$500,000.00 as commission for assisting in a submarine deal in Paris.
28.4 That Abdul Razak Baginda had bought her a house in Mongolia but her brother had refinanced it and she needed money to redeem it.
28.5 That her mother was ill and she needed money to pay for her treatment.
28.6. That Abdul Razak Baginda had married her in Korea as her mother is Korean whilst her father was a Mongolian/Chinese mix.
28.7 That if I wouldn’t allow her to see Abdul Razak Baginda, would I be able to arrange for her to see Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak.
29. After talking to Aminah for about 15 minutes, a red Proton Aeroback arrived with a woman and two men. I now know the woman to be Lance Corporal Rohaniza and the men, Azilah Hadri and Sirul Azahar. They were all in plainclothes. Azilah walked towards me while the other two stayed in the car.
30. Azilah asked me whether the woman was Aminah and I said “Yes”. He then walked off and made a few calls on his handphone. After 10 minutes another vehicle, a blue Proton Saga, driven by a Malay man, passed by slowly. The driver’s window had been wound down and the driver was looking at us.
31. Azilah then informed me they would be taking Aminah away. I informed Aminah they were arresting her. The other two persons then got out of the red Proton and exchanged seats so that Lance Corporal Rohaniza and Aminah were in the back while the two men were in the front. They drove off and that is the last I ever saw of Aminah.
32. Abdul Razak Baginda was not at home when all this occurred.
33. After the 19.10.2006, I continued to work for Abdul Razak Baginda at his house in Damansara Heights from 7.00pm to 8.00am the next morning, as he had been receiving threatening text messages from a woman called “Amy” who was apparently “Aminah’s” cousin in Mongolia.
34. On the night of the 20.10.2006, both of Aminah’s girlfriends turned up at Abdul Razak Baginda’s house enquiring where Aminah was. I informed them she had been arrested the night before.
35. A couple of nights later, these two Mongolian girls, Mr Ang and another Mongolian girl called “Amy” turned up at Abdul Razak Baginda’s house looking for Aminah as they appeared to be convinced she was being held in the house.
36. A commotion began so I called the police who arrived shortly thereafter in a patrol car. Another patrol car arrived a short while later in which was the investigating officer from the Dang Wangi Police Station who was in charge of the missing persons report lodged by one of the Mongolians girls, I believe was Amy.
37. I called Abdul Razak Baginda who was at home to inform him of the events taking place at his front gate. He then called DSP Musa Safri and called me back informing me that Musa Safri would be calling my handphone and I was to pass the phone to the inspector from the Dang Wangi Police Station.
38. I then received a call on my handphone from Musa Safri and duly handed the phone to the Dang Wangi inspector. The conversation lasted 3-4 minutes after which he told the girls to disperse and to go to see him the next day.
39. On or about the 24.10.2006, Abdul Razak Baginda instructed me to accompany him to the Brickfields police station as he had been advised to lodge a police report about the harassment he was receiving from these Mongolian girls.
40. Before this, Amy had sent me an SMS informing me she was going to Thailand to lodge a report with the Mongolian consulate there regarding Aminah’s disappearance. Apparently she had sent the same SMS to Abdul Razak Baginda. This is why he told me he had been advised to lodge a police report.
41. Abdul Razak Baginda informed me that DPS Musa Safri had introduced him to one DSP Idris, the head of the Criminal division, Brickfields police station, and that Idris had referred him to ASP Tonny.
42. When Abdul Razak Baginda had lodged his police report at Brickfields police station, in front of ASP Tonny, he was asked to make a statement but he refused as he said he was leaving for overseas. He did however promise to prepare a statement and hand ASP Tonny a thumb drive. I know that this was not done as ASP Tonny told me.
43. However ASP Tonny asked me the next day to provide my statement instead and so I did.
44. I stopped working for Abdul Razak Baginda on the 26.10.2006 as this was the day he left for Hong Kong on his own.
45. In mid-November 2006, I received a phone call from ASP Tonny from the IPK Jalan Hang Tuah asking me to see him regarding Aminah’s case. When I arrived there I was immediately arrested under S.506 of the Penal Code for Criminal intimidation.
46. I was then placed in the lock-up and remanded for 5 days. On the third day I was released on police bail.
47. At the end of November 2006, the D9 department of the IPK sent a detective to my house to escort me to the IPK Jalan Hang Tuah. When I arrived, I was told I was being arrested under S.302 of the Penal Code for murder. I was put in the lock-up and remanded for 7 days.
48. I was transported to Bukit Aman where I was interrogated and questioned about an SMS I had received from Abdul Razak Baginda on the 19.10.2006 which read “delay her until my man arrives”. They had apparently retrieved this message from Abdul Razak Baginda’s handphone.
49. They then proceeded to record my statement from 8.30am to 6.00pm every day for 7 consecutive days. I told them all I knew including everything Abdul Razak Baginda and Aminah had told me about their relationships with Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak but when I came to sign my statement, these details had been left out.
50. I have given evidence in the trial of Azilah, Sirul and Abdul Razak Baginda at the Shah Alam High Court. The prosecutor did not ask me any questions in respect of Aminah’s relationship with Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak or of the phone call I received from DSP Musa Safri, whom I believe was the ADC for Datuk Seri Najib Razak and/or his wife.
51. On the day Abdul Razak Baginda was arrested, I was with him at his lawyers’ office at 6.30am. Abdul Razak Baginda informed us that he had sent Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak an SMS the evening before as he refused to believe he was to be arrested, but had not received a response.
52. Shortly thereafter, at about 7.30am, Abdul Razak Baginda received an SMS from Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak and showed this message to both myself and his lawyer. This message read as follows: “ I am seeing IGP at 11.00am today … matter will be solved … be cool.”
53. I have been made to understand that Abdul Razak Baginda was arrested the same morning at his office in the Bangunan Getah Asli, Jalan Ampang.
54. The purpose of this Statutory declaration is to:
54.1 State my disappointment at the standard of investigations conducted by the authorities into the circumstances surrounding the murder of Altantuya Shaaribuu.
54.2 Bring to the notice of the relevant authorities the strong possibility that there are individuals other than the 3 accused who must have played a role in the murder of Altantuya Shaaribuu.
54.3 Persuade the relevant authorities to reopen their investigations into this case immediately so that any fresh evidence may be presented to the Court prior to submissions at the end of the prosecutions case.
54.4 Emphasise the fact that having been a member of the Royal Malaysian Police Force for 17 years I am absolutely certain no police officer would shoot someone in the head and blow up their body without receiving specific instructions from their superiors first.
54.5. Express my concern that should the defence not be called in the said murder trial, the accused, Azilah and Sirul will not have to swear on oath and testify as to the instructions they received and from whom they were given.
55. And I make this solemn declaration conscientiously believing the same be true and by virtue of the provisions of the Statutory Declaration Act 1960.
SUBSCRIBED and solemnly declared by the abovenamed
Balasubramaniam a/l Perumal
Cisco Certification
June 27, 2008 on 5:37 pm | In Me! | No CommentsBeen working in IT for years. In a few vaguely related fields.
If I were to describe my field of expertise, I’ld have to say, as a Jack of all trades. If I could design my own name card, I’ld prefer it to say “Resident Genius”.
Although some might say that this is only because I swim in ’shallow waters’.
I’ve never managed to take any certification exams to ‘prove’ my abilities. The reasons are myriad. Local employers won’t sponsor you to take the course. And if they do, they will make you sign a bond for at least a year. If you take the course at your own expense, no one will give you a raise.
Such is the mentality of small IT companies I guess.
But with my time hopping around these companies, I do acquire real world skills. Knowledge that I need on the ground. It’s unstructured learning, but my knowledge covers a pretty large field, and I can always dig my way out of a problem wherever it might arise.
It’s a great way to learn. Unfortunately, I can’t ‘prove’ such knowledge in a job interview… And when applying for positions that’s a little more focused, my book knowledge in that particular field will be found lacking.
Have considered taking some certification before. The most popular around being Microsoft certification, or Cisco certification. And my friends will know that I’m a little anti M$. Met plenty of MCSE ‘professionals’ who can’t get the job done sometimes. Very often you need more out-of-the-box thinking. And all those guys had, was some demonstrable skill in scoring MCQs.
But if I ever had the chance, (read: if I meet an employer who isn’t too cheap to sponsor my training), I would certainly shoot for Cisco’s training on Security.
Have always been interested in locks. Since the days of MacGyver, I took apart locks and learnt to pick locks on my own. Even crafted my own lockpick. But alas it’s still too clumsy for a REAL JOB. But the fascination has always been there. And network security, is just one big electronical lock that is begging me to disassemble it…
Unfortunately my career paths have never taken me down that road.
Perhaps one day I might find the impetus to chart my path. Instead of waiting for pigs to fly, and for my employers to offer me training with no strings attached.
And should that day come, I know that a Cisco certification will be the first step I’ll take.
Movie: The Ruins
June 25, 2008 on 5:15 pm | In Movies | No Comments
So out of boredom, I read a random top movies of 2008… And The Ruins was listed.
Just looking at the poster, you can probably guess that it’s going to be your typical B-grade horror.
- Introduce the fodder
- Bring them somewhere with some ancient, but hidden danger
- Kill the fodder
- Let one or more fodder live
- Attempt an M.Night twist
And somewhere in there, insert gratuitous nudity. Either a shower scene, or a sex-romp. Or just Nicole Kidman taking a piss on the toilet.
The whole point of these films is the nature of (2). Sometimes, writers do come up with interesting ideas.
The idea of The Ruins really wasn’t bad. But you don’t see what it is till halfway into the movie. The build up was too slow. And there wasn’t enough fodder. Too much time focusing on amateur surgery. Didn’t give enough opportunities for (2) to shine.
And a lame-O twist at the end that was no surprise at all.
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