Chatter Of The Squirrel

Tower Defense

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The Yen Carry Trade

Bad things are happening, my friends.

See the engine that has been driving global economic growth the last decade or more.

See that the engine is now sputtering and dying down.

Repent, for the end is nigh.

If you are concerned about your financial futures, you must not be ignorant and come out from under your coconut shell. The Yen carry trade is unwinding, and this will have dire consequences.

Some think that this will be an excellent opportunity buy Yen. Cos when those hedge funds fully unwind the carry trade, there will be a surging tide of demand for the Yen. The exchange rate of the Yen will climb.

But, if such a disaster were to happen, gold should be a good place to be too. Without the pressure of anticipating Yen’s peak and dumping it before it tumbles back down. Cos a strong Yen can’t be good for their economy either.

There’ll be plenty of room for the powers that be to manipulate this game. So, if you want to play, it’ll be interesting at the same time it is risky.

Prison Break

Seems that most new TV Series are only good for about the first 10 episodes.

That’s when the writers are still pitching the story to the producers, trying to earn the ratings that will mean whether the series has a future or not.

But after it is successful, after it’s got its ratings, the story changes.

Because now the producers want to milk it for all it’s got. They want to drag the story out longer, and longer.

This is about when Michael Schofield’s plans start to go awry. As stupid setback after stupid setbacks start hampering the escape plan.

The ‘popular’ characters start to out-live their usefulness.

Like when after they got over the fence, and the mob-boss was about to put a hole in Tea-Bag’s head, he manages to cuff himself to Michael. With the rationale being, they can’t kill him now or Michael will have to drag a dirty Alabamian corpse while trying to escape.

That’s utter bullshit. If it were me, I’ll STILL put a bullet into Tea-Bag’s head. Then I’ll turn the gun around, and use the butt end to hammer the corpse’s hand until I’ve fractured every little bone. After that, it’ll be easy enough to slip the cuff off.

For a guy who can break his brother out of prison, his trouble-shooting skill leaves much to be desired.

Then the few female characters in the story started becoming stupid, evil, more hindrance than help, greedy, or downright useless.  The writer is quite a misogynist.

So, they dragged the escape to a whole season.

Then, season 2, the story turned from Escape From Alcatraz, to The Fugitive.

Another whole season of them running. And getting recognised at every turn. None of the fools seem to know how to put on a disguise other than wearing a cap. Seriously. Lincoln even kept his stubble trimmed the exact same length and shape as the wanted photos.

The story just kept going downhill from there. Michael goes to confession. Michael shows compassion to a drug smuggler and is rewarded for his compassion. Michael has a childhood trauma and weeps. Belleck also wept.

Just lame.

A Chain Rant by Chris.K.

“This is a chain rant. Feel free to pass it on. No, you don’t have to nor will the magical bottom fairy come along, dislodge that stick and grant you a wish if you do. This is really just a long, long rant and a possibly misguided effort at venting steam and making oneself heard…” -Chris K, author of this load of bollocks.

You know, one thing I will never understand between men and women; relationships and the dating game…

First; the dating game…

The theory of relationships is simple; Girl meets boy, Boy meets girl, they talk, they enjoy one another’s company, grow intimately familiar with one another (Which USED to mean bonding on an emotional level, but is now used in context of sex…) one works up the courage to ask the other into a form of almost perpetual companionship and a relationship is born.

I spoke to a friend over an evening drink. I explained to her how I saw the dating game V2.0 based on data I’ve collected from observing my friends.

“It’s simple. Let us see dating as… A cave man… In heat. It’s mating season, you see-” She gave me a strange look at this point, where I proceeded to explain my rationale.

“Let’s call him OG. OG is lonely and wants a woman. He picks up his big-arse club, walks outside, looks for the most desirable mate and upon finding a suitable female screams “OG like you!”   and bashes her unconscious with his club. He then drags her back to his cave and upon her regaining consciousness, she is touched by his gesture and consummates their newfound love or she beats the shit out of him and politely leaves the cave, thereby teaching OG his much-needed lesson.”

“The point being?…”  My friend asked, unsure of the relevance to the topic at hand, which was ‘The Dating Game’

“OG is symbolic of older form and etiquette.” I replied.

“Specific form and tradition, much unlike a gentleman’s conduct in form but alike in principle. Let me explain, I can see I’m wierding you out again… OG has his set of rules:

1)       Pick up club

2)       Go outside

3)       Look for desirable female

4)       Scream “Og like you!”

5)       Swing club

6)       Drag female back to cave

7)       Wait for response

8)       Enjoy her affection or learn his lesson

A true gentleman, if taking a fair lady out for dinner on their 2nd meeting, might follow a similarly-principled procedure:

1)       Meet the young lady

2)       Take her to his or her vehicle

3)       Head to desired location

4)       Hold the door open for her and let her out

5)       Hold the door for her as they enter the restaurant

6)       Hold the chair for her as she seats herself, doing his best to see to her comfort

7)       They eat, chat and hopefully gain insight into each other with absolute clarity

8)       He takes her home and fondly bids her goodnight, maybe kisses her hand or embraces her if they’re particularly good friends…

“Yes, I *AM* that frigid, luv.” I said to my friend who seemed to find my views rather amusing.

“However, life is not as it was and our methods and ideals have… Deteriorated; a fact I find most depressing. To represent the current day and age, let us bring in OG JR who is heir to the proud OG legacy. However, OG’s old club is sitting in the back of the cave, gathering dust since OG’s unfortunate (and very final!) incident with a rather irate wooly mammoth. OG is dead, long live the OG.

Og JR. has a new method, carrying 50feet of rope; he runs out to hunt for a desirable mate; spying one, he does the following;

1)       Hands one end of the rope to the female and asks her to hold it.

2)       She complies, curiously staring at her end.

3)       JR. then frantically runs around her until she is tied up in rope. No, it does not end there.

4)       Moving a short distance, he pulls.

5)       The unwinding of the reel of rope causes her to spin.

6)       As the rope unravels she clutches it and force being as it is unless stopped, she winds up the other way

7)       JR. waits until she is completely wrapped up before he pulls once more, spinning her the other way.

8)       Repeat processes 4-7 ad infinitum et nauseum (Yes I know my Latin sucks)

9)       One hour later, as she wobbles unsteadily, he leans in and whispers in her ear: JR. like you…

10)   Confused, she smiles and nods, collapses in his arms, and is dragged back to the OG family cave…

This is how modern dating seems to work; through a series of fancy footwork, spins and sudden changes of direction, the desired quarry is snared through confusion. To entice another and seal the attraction, rather than directly acting upon it, the subject is enticed and then pushed away, enticed and pushed away till the instigator can leap upon his or her confused prey with relative ease; though the initial process is anything but easy. Failure to grasp these machinations means one will be alone in romance for a long time… I know I’ve been.

I miss OG, but let’s face it…

He’s dead.

Speaking of dead; let’s talk about relationships…

To not seem biased and sexist, I’ll begin by ranting at the men; you know which ones I’m referring to, you needn’t lie to yourselves. You know the kind; happily settled down into a relationship, you’ve got a great girl, she loves you dearly and all’s great… But it’s not enough, is it? No, you have to go and CHEAT on her with some mindless ball of fluff whose only redeeming feature is her nice arse! What the fuck were you thinking?! Actually, no don’t tell me. I don’t want to know. Nothing can justify what you have done, cos you’ve just gone and messed it up for the rest of us.

All I do know is that you’ve just gone and ruined a perfectly nice girl who is now your ex, who after a dating few guys like you is now a sodding wreck… (God alone knows what they see in you, your walls that need to be torn down, your supposed soft side, etc.)

So, she’ll play around a bit, lead the odd moron on and enjoy the power she has managed to attain, having learned from her ex (Yes, that’s you, I’m still talking to you, you irresponsible, callous son of a bitch!)

Eventually, she’ll find mister right and cock it up royally, unable to understand the nice guy’s ’strange and alien behaviour’. She’ll likely cheat on him, rant at him and make a grand old mess, of course blaming the nice guy (”He drove me to it!”- An actual quote I heard, I shit you not!) For the whole fiasco that was their relationship, before leaving him for…? Yep, you guessed it! Her comfort zone; an asshole. This only serves to worsen her present condition; masochism on an amazing scale!

Post nightmare; The nice guy, confused dolt that he is, will continue to wander and blunder through all these damaged goods, cos they’re the only ones who want him (For sympathy and understanding that they didn’t want in the first place! Go figure…) wondering all the while what HE did wrong until he wakes up one day and says “You know what? I keep getting all the crazies! The assholes get all the nice girls! I should become an asshole too! Closed and all mysterious-like! Let’s give those girls something to REALLY fix! Yeah, get those maternal instincts pumping!!!” Nice guys minus one, Assholes plus one! Congrats girls, you just gave birth to a brand new asshole, not before gutting and killing the spirit of what was once a nice guy… you stupid bitch. Yes girls, that was my shot at you, in case you hadn’t noticed…

So our nice guy, quite ‘Fallen from Grace’, goes and finds himself a nice girl…

…And history repeats itself…

Remarkable really, it’s like the modernised chicken and egg theory. Which came first; the damaged goods or the asshole?

I know I’ve probably had the LEAST experience in relationships in all three of my circles of friends, so my words carry little credibility, but someone needs to say it. A number of people I know are thinking it; I’m surprised they said haven’t said it yet; probably because they’ve accepted it as part of life…

…Isn’t that frightening?

300

My boss is busy making preparations for his son’s full moon. I take this as a sign that I should take an extended lunch and watch 300.

The 11.30am show is only RM 6 on weekdays. This will be the first RM 6 that I’ve spent on movies this year.

BTW, the guy at the ticket counter had to remind me that the movie is rated 18. Wow, I may look young for my age, but 18 is just too flattering… Like the hotel waiter at Bali that gave me a shocked look when I ordered a small glass of Bali rice liquor.

A quick intro that I wrote about last year is here.

The movie is great. And I’m particularly grateful that so much of it made it past the censors. Only flashes in Xerxes’ harem was snipped. But scenes where nipples could *almost* be seen, made the cut. All the blood and gore made the cut.

Grateful grateful grateful.

The whole movie is sepia-toned. This gave the movie an incredible atmosphere, but more importantly, I think it’s so that the CGI is better disguised and covered. This is important, or else the suspension of belief will be lost with even a single frame of clumsy, patchy CGI.

And the movie has to use lots of CGI. It’s not gonna be like Brad Pitt’s arete on the walls of Priam. But more like the march on Mordor.

As it is… the movie is brilliant. And faithful to the graphic novel.

I love how the action jerks forward in starts and stops.

Spartan stabs forward with spear, *FRAME* pulls the spear out slowly, *Speeds forward* twirls around to slam shield into the next opponent’s face, *FRAME* then *Speeds forward* spins about to stab another with his spear, *FRAME*.

The effect is like watching the action unfold on a comic book. It’s absolutely brilliant. It’s an excellent amalgam of both the mediums of art and film.

Read the graphic novel first if you can.

But watch the movie nonetheless.

The movie does have its guts and gore. With plenty of CG blood spurting in every direction. And severed limbs, and decapitated heads. There are fantastic beasts, and mis-shapened giants that might put off some people’s sensibilities. But remember, that this is not history. It is a soldier’s tale of his king’s victory. And Greek history is unsuperceded, when it comes to artistic license.

There are also people who may also take issue with the political resonance of the battle against Persians. But grow up man. It’s a story. And a brilliant one at that.